Let's not only remember, let's learn.

Over the last month, and now in the coming week, my dad and I have had the privilege and honor to speak to students from all over, including Newark, NJ; Norwood, NJ; Old Tappan, NJ; and we will be speaking in Harrison, NY tomorrow.  In each case the students continue to amaze us. These students range in age from 5th graders all the way up to 11th graders. Each situation is unique. Some students have already read the book and are coming into the assembly with questions formulated and an understanding of what my dad went through. In other schools, these students had no idea what they were about to hear. They knew that they were going to hear about a Holocaust survivor, but the details were never shared.

It's amazing how different many of the questions are depending on where these kids are being raised. Yet their is a common theme to them all.  When we speak to a group of students that have many immigrants in the audience, they are very interested in how my father got here, what were his experiences. If the students are being raised in an atmosphere of violence, their questions tend to turn more inward - How do you live without hate? How do you get over it?  But regardless of where theses students reside, their is a common theme to their questioning - What can we do?

Think about that for a moment.  No matter where we go, our youth is yearning to know if they can make a difference. Can their voice be heard? For us to be able to speak to them and explain to them that yes - they are our future. It is about them, about what they take away from this story. The story is not pleasant. It brings up a subject matter that makes many uncomfortable. It is hard to try to imagine that this man standing in front of you today was once a child that suffered so much. And to see that he went on to live a full and complete life, and yes even a happy one, is truly amazing.  But it is not about just his story. That would not be enough. It is about teaching the lessons that we can learn. 

I know it may sound corny, but I have to believe that he survived for a reason.  Perhaps that reason is exactly what we are doing now. To take these experiences and teach the next generation about tolerance, respect, perseverance and hope.  Even if we can reach just a few, it is a few more than we had yesterday. I am hopeful for us as a society. I do truly believe that deep down most people are good. If we can get those voices to rise louder and stronger than the voices of hate we have a chance, and to do this we must start with the youth.

This weekend starts the week long commemorations for Yom Hashoah -Holocaust Remembrance Day. On this remembrance day let's not only remember, let's learn.

Can we fight Anti-Semitism?

Last week my dad and I were having an interesting conversation.  Just like many people, especially Jews, we were having a conversation about the recent reporting about the rise in anti-Semitism.  My father had an analogy I would like to share:

"When you go to the doctor because you don't feel well, what do you want him to say to you? You don't want him to just say, 'You are sick, see ya later", you want him to tell you why did this happen and what can I do to fix it so that it won't happen again.  Now think of anti-Semitism. If all we do is talk about what is happening today, we are not talking about the right things.  We need to talk about WHY this is happening, what is causing it, WHERE DID IT COME FROM? Then we talk about how to stop it."

There are so many theories about the root of anti-Semitism.  Some say it is the Christians that said that the Jews killed Christ, some may say it is because Jews are different, and yet others may say the Quran says so.  The reality is that the Roman's killed Jesus, we are all different and the coverage of Jews in the Quran actually insignificant. So what is going on?  The harsh reality is that this is something that has been going on for centuries.  When hatred and false impressions are passed down from generation to generation, the root of them and the truth behind them are irrelevant.  As long as we allow young children to continue to believe blindly what they are being told at home and what they are overhearing, anti-Semitism, and all hatred and intolerance will never go away.  We need our Priests, Ministers, Rabbi's, Imam's, and all religious leaders to come together and as one force stand up to call for a stop to the spread of hatred, in a very public way.  Will this happen, who knows, I would hope that it will one day.

In truth, ALL hatred and intolerance will never be 100% eradicated. So what now? Now we have to be diligent about getting to the younger generation.  Teaching them in schools about different people, and how no matter how different we all are, at the end of the day we breathe and need the same oxygen to live, we bleed the same color of red, and we ALL ultimately want the same thing - for our families and loved ones to be safe and happy.

Over the past few weeks my father and I have had the privilege to meet and speak to so many young people. Their thoughtful questions, their willingness to really listen is astounding.  The best part of it all is to watch how my father has really affected these students.  Here are some of their words:

“I have to treasure my family and spend quality of time with them”
“I have to live life to the fullest now that I have the chance.”

How special it is to know that my father has made this impact on these children. If we can touch and affect even just one child, I can only hope we have made a difference.  We are continuing to reach out to schools, to try to get our book, Together: A Journey for Survival, into their curriculum. We are hoping that through this story we can teach the younger generation about tolerance and about the consequences of hate. 

My hope for you all is to continue to teach the children around you the same lessons. Let's try to make this world just a little better, Together.

Last week we had the honor of speaking at Weequahic High School in Newark NJ.  This school is special to me personally. You see my mom graduated from there. The day started off so cool. I have never seen a high school that had such an active alumni association, and an office right on premise! They actually had old high school year books and we were able to find my mom's year and pictures of her! It was so crazy!

But then I have to say, the day just got better.  About 50 students attended our talk. They were respectful, engaged and really asked some great questions.  They asked if my dad still harbored feelings of hate. (his response is here in this video). They asked him if he suffered from PTSD, what would he do if the bad guys were standing right in front of him right now, and did he loose hope.  He answered all the questions as honestly as he could. He does not think hate is productive, kindness is better. He is lucky, he never had PTSD, and he never lost hope - he credited his mom for that. And if the person was right in front of him today, he would just talk to him, in a calm fashion, because anything else is just not worth it.

I spoke to their teacher after our talk.  Many of these students lives are difficult. She was so happy that they had the opportunity to witness, first hand, a person that had been persecuted, discriminated against and who lived through the Holocaust and who had survived. And to see that person go on to live a full and happy life gives them hope. 

The video above is some words of wisdom my dad told these kids at the end of our time together.  It always amazes me how much he enjoys life and how he always has a smile on his face. I think we can all learn a little something from him.

Inspiration from the most unexpected source

What a year it has been! I never imagined when I embarked on this journey that it would take me down the path I have started to journey on.  Writing a book has always been a dream of mine, and to say I have finally realized that dream is a little unbelievable.  I have to admit. I have been hard on myself.  I know that I have reached so many people, but I feel like I should have reached more by now. Silly, I know. And yes, I have been told that by many. But, like I said, I am hard on myself.

My sister told me the a few days ago that even if I just touch one person, that is a life I have affected. It really hit home the other day when I received a package in the mail of some letters. Let me back up for a moment.  A couple of weeks ago, my dad and I presented at a teacher's workshop in Newark NJ. I had worked with a wonderful woman that helped write curriculum content and a lesson plan to accompany the book.  We were so excited and grateful when two schools in Newark requested the book and will be using it in the New Year as part of their lesson plan!

At one of the schools, the teacher had come back to her class and told her 6th grade students about meeting my dad and I. She then read them the introduction to the book, and gave them an assignment: Write a letter explaining why you want to read the book and why it is important to you.  Wow, is all I can say. These students are remarkable.  My dad and I were sent copies of these letters, some of them broke our heart!  These children spoke about wanting to meet my father so that they could perhaps learn some survival skills of their own. You see, they explained, they live in neighborhoods where people just shoot people, and they are always in fear for their lives. This is when you get your reality check, big time.

I really have no words for how this has made me feel. These children have inspired me. I am one of the lucky ones. I have heard horrible stories my whole life. I have learned about fear, and have heard about anti-Semitism. But the reality is that I have never really experienced true fear myself.  Yes, when I was younger, I had experienced a little anti-Semitism, but nothing like what I am learning more and more about through my work with the Simon Wiesenthal Center and the anti-BDS resolutions we are trying to pass in local municipalities.  Fear - of course we have all experienced fear in our lives. Fear of failure, fear of new situations, fear of roller coasters, and fear in strange places. But this fear is nothing compared to the fear day in and day out of death. I hope and pray that I, my family and you never truly experience this type of fear and emotion.  I can only hope that through my book, through my talks and through my efforts, we can try to make the world a better place, a safer place, and a more tolerant place.

My wish for all of you is for happiness in the New Year.  My father and grandmother have taught me to never look back, only look forward. So I choose to look forward with hope. 

From my family to yours -

A happy and healthy New Year to you all!

It is about YOU!

I just returned from London a couple of days ago. Many of my friends told us we were the smartest ones in America - leaving the night of the election and getting out of here!  I did not plan it that way intentionally, it happened that my daughter had a few days off from school so we booked the trip.  London was amazing, we loved everything about it and I am so happy we went.  But there was a little part of me that did wish I was back home with everything going on. 

Our flight overseas did not have Wi-Fi, so my husband and I took turns waking up and refreshing the news feed that the plane did provide. We were just as shocked as so many people in the nation as the night unfolded.  Now for full disclosure, I am a registered Republican, however I never vote strictly by party line.  In this case, I did agree with much of what President Elect Trump said, however not all of it. And the things I did not agree with led me to personally not be able to vote for him. With all that said, however, he is going to be my President now, and I hope and pray that he will be one of the best we ever had.

I remember my father used to tell us how great this country was. He used to tell my sister and I that we had no idea how lucky we were. We lived in a country where freedom was sometimes taken for granted. Everyone had a right to vote and have their voices heard. Some chose not to exercise that right and many others made their feelings heard.  Things will not change overnight, and I can only hope that everyone recognizes this fact and gives President Elect Trump a chance. I know so many people that are so upset and have gone into a depression over this past week. To them I would say, you are entitled to your feelings just as others are entitled to theirs, however, do not loose sight of the bigger picture. You have the distinct honor of living in a country where anything is possible. It gave my father the ability to come here as a young man, with $5 in his pocket and not knowing a word of English, and through hard work and determination he made it and provided a better life for his children.

This is a country that has good people in it, don't for get that!  Since the election, two towns in NJ have already passed anti-BDS resolutions. They join Englewood, NJ and New York City which each passed their own anti-BDS resolutions a couple of months ago.  Last week, my town of Norwood passed the resolution unanimously, and then just last night, my hometown of Livingston did the same. In each town many people attended the meeting to show their town council their support, and many gave passionate speeches thanking the members for what they were doing. These brave people are standing up and saying we will not tolerate intolerance! We will not tolerate hate! We will not tolerate bigotry and anti-Semitism! At the end of the day, it is about what you do as a person, what you teach your children and how you live that matters.

Anti-Semitism exists but does not have to win

I had the pleasure this morning to speak at Temple Emanu-El in Closter NJ. What a wonderful and welcoming community!  After services, a smaller group of congregants met and had a question and answer session with my dad and I. I find that so many times, the conversation invariably turns to anti-Semitism. 

I was honored to meet other second generation, children of Holocaust survivors as well today. And as we all spoke, I found a common theme.  Our parents, the Holocaust survivors themselves, each seem to have emerged from this horrific time in history, and have gone on to lead wonderful lives, and each one of them does not live with hatred.  They usually walk around with a smile on their face, they are good to others, and the always look forward.  However, it is us, the children, that have a harder time learning this lesson.

Each one of us shared how we harbor more resentment, perhaps more unspoken "hatred" for what happened to our parents.  I know as a parent, when my child skins her knee, I feel the pain, but the truth is that our children feel our pain as well.  Yes anti-Semitism exists. It always has, and it probably always will, however, each one of us has to try to learn the lessons of our parents.  We must look forward, we must try to leave the world a better place.  My dad said today, these people will always hate us, but we must fight back with kindness. We can not become the people the accuse us to be. 

This past week, I witnessed and was part of an amazing evening in my little town of Norwood NJ.  A few weeks ago I had coffee with Michael Cohen. Michael is the Eastern Regional Director of the Simon Wiesenthal Center. He is also a councilman in the city of Englewood, NJ.  He was telling me about how NYC and Englewood had passed an anti-BDS resolution, condemning BDS (the anti-Semetic movement called Boycott Disinvestment and Sanctions against Israel).  The goal being that if we can get every individual municipality to join their voices and stand up to intolerance and hatred, perhaps we can make a difference.  I immediately contacted our town council and the mayor agreed to put the resolution on the agenda for their work session this past Wednesday evening. 

There were a few of us that attended the meeting to show support to the council for their stance and approval of this resolution.  What I did not expect were the eloquent and heartfelt comments that each council member said.  This is not a very Jewish town I live in, and was hoping at best to just not have any opposition and that everyone would vote yes.  I never imagined that I would witness such understanding and acceptance. It made me so proud to be a Norwood resident, and so happy that as a Jew I actually truly understood why I feel so comfortable in my small town. Because I am surrounded by good people, people that understand all of our inalienable rights, including freedom of religion.  They spoke about how Israel is a democracy, one of the United States greatest allies, and how they have a right to defend themselves against terrorism.  What an evening!

I will leave you with how I ended my talk today.  My dad put it best – we can not live with hate in our hearts. No, we will probably never forgive and can not forget, but we have to learn and look forward.  Make sure we pass those teaching on. We can not allow the seed of hatred of any kind grow. There are good people in this world, there really are. And if we can get those voices to rise louder than the ones that spread violence and hatred, then we can try to make this world a better place, one where our children and descendants can hopefully live peacefully.

Happy New Year!

New Year - what liberating words. Those two little words bring such new hope, a clean slate, a new beginning.  For most, January 1st is the clean slate day.  At work, we joke about how we have to do it all over again, ugh! I know so many friends that say they will start their "diet" on January 2nd, or they will start going to the gym and getting healthier.  But for the Jewish New Year, it's not the same feeling. It is as if New Year holds a different meaning, this one is for the soul.

We go to synagogue, ask for forgiveness, and hope to be put in the book of life. What does all of that mean? For many, it is a time to reflect inward. I have to be honest, I don't attend synagogue on a regular basis.  For me I go at the very least twice a year, during Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. In between, if there is a B'Nai Mitzvah to attend, or a special occasion, we will attend services.  However, I must say, during this time each fall, the holidays cause me to start reflecting on the year that just passed. 

This year has been a whirlwind and the one thing that sticks out in my mind is my individual awareness and recognition of how far we have come as Jewish people, yet how far we still have to go.  I have recently been reading so much and learning so much more about the BDS movement, the anti-Semitism that still rocks our world, and then all the violence that has ripped our country apart in the past year. It saddens me that this is the world we live in, the one I have brought my children up in. However, amongst all this sadness and violence, there are still good stories that emerge.  The young black child that went to his local police department last week to give the police officers "free hugs", the Ohio police officer that drove the young man over a hundred miles to his family after his sister was killed in a car accident, the passing of anti-BDS measures across New Jersey, these are the stories that bring me hope.

I do find it hard sometimes to feel hope, I think we all do when we are faced with tragedy after tragedy. But then we must remind ourselves, and each other about the goodness that exists.  People can be good if we just give them a chance. If we don't jump to conclusions, if we treat each other with respect, if we tolerate, and hopefully one day accept each of our differences, we can be the catalyst to making this country and world a wonderful place to bring our children into and raise a family. At the end of the day that is all I really want: I want my children to be happy and feel safe. May this New Year bring you peace, health and happiness. From my family to yours, Shana Tova.