Mom's and what they teach us...

This past week I had the unbelievable pleasure of spending two days with my dad at the Teen Symposium on Holocaust Education in Scranton.  Over 1500 students attended the event. They heard from both liberators and survivors and learned about this horrific time.

The first morning we were eating breakfast and my dad got his favorite - sunny side up eggs.  He always eats them the same, he eats all the egg white first, leaving a perfect circle of the yolk, and then eats the yolk all at once.  It is so cute watching him eat his eggs!

So there we are, sitting in the booth at 6:30am eating breakfast, and he giggles at me as he eats his eggs, saying "This totally reminds me of the time I stole that egg."  So I give him puzzled look and say, "You mean when you got the boiled egg on the side of the street, right?' (for those that have read the book you may remember this scene).  He looks at me and immediately corrects me "No!  When I stole the egg?"  So now I am completely confused.  I thought I knew all the stories there are to know, but clearly my dad has just had a recollection of something that he has never shared.  I insist that I have never heard this story and implore him to expand and share more.

"One day we were hiding in the attic of a barn" he begins.  I lean in, so excited to be hearing something new.  "I was just SO hungry.  It was nighttime, Zosia and Baba (that is Mamusia to those that read the book - my grandma) were sleeping.  I quietly crept down the ladder to the barn and started to look around for something to eat.  I quickly noticed an egg on the ground near the chickens.  I didn't think, I didn't hesitate, my hunger was guiding me to that egg.  I quickly picked it up, made a hole in one end and drank the delicious liquid inside.  After indulging, I ground up the shell and hid it in the dirt.  I then quietly snuck back up the ladder and went to sleep.  The next morning, the owner of the farm came into the barn.  We heard him walking below us and getting very frustrated.  He started to curse and get angrier and angrier each minute.  Finally, we heard him coming up the ladder.  He looked at my Mamusia and said ' You stole the egg!' Of course she had no idea what he was talking about. ' What egg?' she replied. 'I would never steal from you!  I would ask you before taking anything. I swear I did not take anything!'"

At this point I interrupt my dad and ask "Oh my G-D! Were you scared they would figure it out? What did you do?"

A sneaky smile forms on his face as he recalls what happened next.

He continued, "Well, my mom looked at me from the corner of her eye.  I was sitting VERY quietly in the corner, and with one look she knew.  Once the owner left, she immediately turned to me and said 'Manek- did you take the egg?' . 'No!' I replied, 'She continued to look at me and very sternly once again said ' Manek! did you take the egg, tell me the truth'  I caved. 'Mamusia, I was so very hungry, I am so sorry!' She started to yell at me! 'Manek - do you know what you have done? We could get kicked out of here!  They are helping us and you steal from them?' I just started to cry and apologize.

Soon after the owner returned, and my mother went down the ladder and asked to speak to him. She confessed my sins, told the owner that she figured out it was her son that took the egg. 'I am so, so very sorry. I understand if you would like us to leave. He was just a hungry child. I have no way of repaying you. We are so very sorry.'' Well that owner was kind. He understood and forgave my father.

What amazes me the most of this story is the character of my grandmother.  Even in this horrible situation, she kept her integrity. She didn't have to tell the owner the truth. He would never have figured it out. But even when all humanity was being stripped from them, she held onto who she was. She taught my father to be honest, to own up to your mistakes.

To all the mom's out there - the way your children perceive you and your action shape the type of people they become.  I have always known what a good man my father is, he taught my sister and I the importance of family, the importance of truth and the fact that all we have is our word and reputation.  I now know he learned this lesson at a very young age.

2017: The most amazing thing I was reminded of...

As I look back on 2017, reflecting on the year, I am amazed at the people I have met and am excited to see what 2018 has in store. This past year, my father and I have had a chance to speak to people of all ages.

One of the most profound things I learned was the different perception children have in the world depending on where they are growing up. I always knew this theoretically of course, but being faced with it head on was a stark reminder of where we are in the world. This past year my father and I were speaking to 5th and 6th graders in Newark NJ. This was a group of hispanic and African American children. They had read the book as part of their class and were all so excited to meet my dad. When they first saw him their reaction was amazing - it was as if Beyoncé had walked in. The morning was wonderful, with so many great questions coming from the students. However, it was what I found out right before we entered the auditorium that really struck me. We were speaking to the teacher of the class and she told us about reactions the students had to reading the book. She told us that the biggest takeaway the students had reading the book was... that they did not realize that there was white on white violence. They just assumed if you were white you had it made. That hit me hard.

The thing is that to most people perception is reality. Having the opportunity to teach the young that we are all really the same could be life changing. We may all not be in the same place in our lives. Different social and economic standings of course influence attitude and opinion. But showing them that someone that is was once hunted, someone that experienced discrimination to the worst degree, that experienced a hatred like no other, can actually come though the other side and not only survive but thrive through hard work and perseverance is a lesson that needs to be taught.  We look forward to the year ahead and hopefully being able to make an impact on even more lives.

Let's not only remember, let's learn.

Over the last month, and now in the coming week, my dad and I have had the privilege and honor to speak to students from all over, including Newark, NJ; Norwood, NJ; Old Tappan, NJ; and we will be speaking in Harrison, NY tomorrow.  In each case the students continue to amaze us. These students range in age from 5th graders all the way up to 11th graders. Each situation is unique. Some students have already read the book and are coming into the assembly with questions formulated and an understanding of what my dad went through. In other schools, these students had no idea what they were about to hear. They knew that they were going to hear about a Holocaust survivor, but the details were never shared.

It's amazing how different many of the questions are depending on where these kids are being raised. Yet their is a common theme to them all.  When we speak to a group of students that have many immigrants in the audience, they are very interested in how my father got here, what were his experiences. If the students are being raised in an atmosphere of violence, their questions tend to turn more inward - How do you live without hate? How do you get over it?  But regardless of where theses students reside, their is a common theme to their questioning - What can we do?

Think about that for a moment.  No matter where we go, our youth is yearning to know if they can make a difference. Can their voice be heard? For us to be able to speak to them and explain to them that yes - they are our future. It is about them, about what they take away from this story. The story is not pleasant. It brings up a subject matter that makes many uncomfortable. It is hard to try to imagine that this man standing in front of you today was once a child that suffered so much. And to see that he went on to live a full and complete life, and yes even a happy one, is truly amazing.  But it is not about just his story. That would not be enough. It is about teaching the lessons that we can learn. 

I know it may sound corny, but I have to believe that he survived for a reason.  Perhaps that reason is exactly what we are doing now. To take these experiences and teach the next generation about tolerance, respect, perseverance and hope.  Even if we can reach just a few, it is a few more than we had yesterday. I am hopeful for us as a society. I do truly believe that deep down most people are good. If we can get those voices to rise louder and stronger than the voices of hate we have a chance, and to do this we must start with the youth.

This weekend starts the week long commemorations for Yom Hashoah -Holocaust Remembrance Day. On this remembrance day let's not only remember, let's learn.

Can we fight Anti-Semitism?

Last week my dad and I were having an interesting conversation.  Just like many people, especially Jews, we were having a conversation about the recent reporting about the rise in anti-Semitism.  My father had an analogy I would like to share:

"When you go to the doctor because you don't feel well, what do you want him to say to you? You don't want him to just say, 'You are sick, see ya later", you want him to tell you why did this happen and what can I do to fix it so that it won't happen again.  Now think of anti-Semitism. If all we do is talk about what is happening today, we are not talking about the right things.  We need to talk about WHY this is happening, what is causing it, WHERE DID IT COME FROM? Then we talk about how to stop it."

There are so many theories about the root of anti-Semitism.  Some say it is the Christians that said that the Jews killed Christ, some may say it is because Jews are different, and yet others may say the Quran says so.  The reality is that the Roman's killed Jesus, we are all different and the coverage of Jews in the Quran actually insignificant. So what is going on?  The harsh reality is that this is something that has been going on for centuries.  When hatred and false impressions are passed down from generation to generation, the root of them and the truth behind them are irrelevant.  As long as we allow young children to continue to believe blindly what they are being told at home and what they are overhearing, anti-Semitism, and all hatred and intolerance will never go away.  We need our Priests, Ministers, Rabbi's, Imam's, and all religious leaders to come together and as one force stand up to call for a stop to the spread of hatred, in a very public way.  Will this happen, who knows, I would hope that it will one day.

In truth, ALL hatred and intolerance will never be 100% eradicated. So what now? Now we have to be diligent about getting to the younger generation.  Teaching them in schools about different people, and how no matter how different we all are, at the end of the day we breathe and need the same oxygen to live, we bleed the same color of red, and we ALL ultimately want the same thing - for our families and loved ones to be safe and happy.

Over the past few weeks my father and I have had the privilege to meet and speak to so many young people. Their thoughtful questions, their willingness to really listen is astounding.  The best part of it all is to watch how my father has really affected these students.  Here are some of their words:

“I have to treasure my family and spend quality of time with them”
“I have to live life to the fullest now that I have the chance.”

How special it is to know that my father has made this impact on these children. If we can touch and affect even just one child, I can only hope we have made a difference.  We are continuing to reach out to schools, to try to get our book, Together: A Journey for Survival, into their curriculum. We are hoping that through this story we can teach the younger generation about tolerance and about the consequences of hate. 

My hope for you all is to continue to teach the children around you the same lessons. Let's try to make this world just a little better, Together.

Inspiration from the most unexpected source

What a year it has been! I never imagined when I embarked on this journey that it would take me down the path I have started to journey on.  Writing a book has always been a dream of mine, and to say I have finally realized that dream is a little unbelievable.  I have to admit. I have been hard on myself.  I know that I have reached so many people, but I feel like I should have reached more by now. Silly, I know. And yes, I have been told that by many. But, like I said, I am hard on myself.

My sister told me the a few days ago that even if I just touch one person, that is a life I have affected. It really hit home the other day when I received a package in the mail of some letters. Let me back up for a moment.  A couple of weeks ago, my dad and I presented at a teacher's workshop in Newark NJ. I had worked with a wonderful woman that helped write curriculum content and a lesson plan to accompany the book.  We were so excited and grateful when two schools in Newark requested the book and will be using it in the New Year as part of their lesson plan!

At one of the schools, the teacher had come back to her class and told her 6th grade students about meeting my dad and I. She then read them the introduction to the book, and gave them an assignment: Write a letter explaining why you want to read the book and why it is important to you.  Wow, is all I can say. These students are remarkable.  My dad and I were sent copies of these letters, some of them broke our heart!  These children spoke about wanting to meet my father so that they could perhaps learn some survival skills of their own. You see, they explained, they live in neighborhoods where people just shoot people, and they are always in fear for their lives. This is when you get your reality check, big time.

I really have no words for how this has made me feel. These children have inspired me. I am one of the lucky ones. I have heard horrible stories my whole life. I have learned about fear, and have heard about anti-Semitism. But the reality is that I have never really experienced true fear myself.  Yes, when I was younger, I had experienced a little anti-Semitism, but nothing like what I am learning more and more about through my work with the Simon Wiesenthal Center and the anti-BDS resolutions we are trying to pass in local municipalities.  Fear - of course we have all experienced fear in our lives. Fear of failure, fear of new situations, fear of roller coasters, and fear in strange places. But this fear is nothing compared to the fear day in and day out of death. I hope and pray that I, my family and you never truly experience this type of fear and emotion.  I can only hope that through my book, through my talks and through my efforts, we can try to make the world a better place, a safer place, and a more tolerant place.

My wish for all of you is for happiness in the New Year.  My father and grandmother have taught me to never look back, only look forward. So I choose to look forward with hope. 

From my family to yours -

A happy and healthy New Year to you all!

Anti-Semitism exists but does not have to win

I had the pleasure this morning to speak at Temple Emanu-El in Closter NJ. What a wonderful and welcoming community!  After services, a smaller group of congregants met and had a question and answer session with my dad and I. I find that so many times, the conversation invariably turns to anti-Semitism. 

I was honored to meet other second generation, children of Holocaust survivors as well today. And as we all spoke, I found a common theme.  Our parents, the Holocaust survivors themselves, each seem to have emerged from this horrific time in history, and have gone on to lead wonderful lives, and each one of them does not live with hatred.  They usually walk around with a smile on their face, they are good to others, and the always look forward.  However, it is us, the children, that have a harder time learning this lesson.

Each one of us shared how we harbor more resentment, perhaps more unspoken "hatred" for what happened to our parents.  I know as a parent, when my child skins her knee, I feel the pain, but the truth is that our children feel our pain as well.  Yes anti-Semitism exists. It always has, and it probably always will, however, each one of us has to try to learn the lessons of our parents.  We must look forward, we must try to leave the world a better place.  My dad said today, these people will always hate us, but we must fight back with kindness. We can not become the people the accuse us to be. 

This past week, I witnessed and was part of an amazing evening in my little town of Norwood NJ.  A few weeks ago I had coffee with Michael Cohen. Michael is the Eastern Regional Director of the Simon Wiesenthal Center. He is also a councilman in the city of Englewood, NJ.  He was telling me about how NYC and Englewood had passed an anti-BDS resolution, condemning BDS (the anti-Semetic movement called Boycott Disinvestment and Sanctions against Israel).  The goal being that if we can get every individual municipality to join their voices and stand up to intolerance and hatred, perhaps we can make a difference.  I immediately contacted our town council and the mayor agreed to put the resolution on the agenda for their work session this past Wednesday evening. 

There were a few of us that attended the meeting to show support to the council for their stance and approval of this resolution.  What I did not expect were the eloquent and heartfelt comments that each council member said.  This is not a very Jewish town I live in, and was hoping at best to just not have any opposition and that everyone would vote yes.  I never imagined that I would witness such understanding and acceptance. It made me so proud to be a Norwood resident, and so happy that as a Jew I actually truly understood why I feel so comfortable in my small town. Because I am surrounded by good people, people that understand all of our inalienable rights, including freedom of religion.  They spoke about how Israel is a democracy, one of the United States greatest allies, and how they have a right to defend themselves against terrorism.  What an evening!

I will leave you with how I ended my talk today.  My dad put it best – we can not live with hate in our hearts. No, we will probably never forgive and can not forget, but we have to learn and look forward.  Make sure we pass those teaching on. We can not allow the seed of hatred of any kind grow. There are good people in this world, there really are. And if we can get those voices to rise louder than the ones that spread violence and hatred, then we can try to make this world a better place, one where our children and descendants can hopefully live peacefully.

Thank you to The Simon Wiesenthal Center!

"An important work. Ann Arnold's effort to both tell their tale of her family's survival during the Holocaust while being a part of encouraging the next generation to embrace tolerance is inspiring."

-Michael Cohen, Eastern Director of the Simon Wiesenthal Center

Wow, is all I can say.  If you follow me on Facebook and have read my previous post, then you know how much I LOVE reading the reviews! It truly warms my heart and encourages me to continue to spread the message of Never Forget.

At the beginning of the summer, I had the pleasure to meet Michael Cohen, the Eastern Director of the Simon Wiesenthal Center.  For those that do not know who Simon Wiesenthal was, or what the center does, let me recap. Simon Wiesenthal was a survivor of the Nazi death camps who dedicated his life to hunting and bringing Nazi's to justice for their crimes and documenting the crimes of the Holocaust. The Simon Wiesenthal Center was founded in 1977 and is a "global human rights organization researching the Holocaust and hate in a historic and contemporary context. The Center confronts anti-Semitism, hate and terrorism, promotes human rights and dignity, stands with Israel, defends the safety of Jews worldwide, and teaches the lessons of the Holocaust for future generations. With a constituency of over 400,000 households in the United States, it is accredited as an NGO at international organizations including the United Nations, UNESCO, OSCE, Organization of American States (OAS), the Latin American Parliament (PARLATINO) and the Council of Europe. (http://www.wiesenthal.com)". As you can imagine, this was quite an important meeting for me! 

Michael and I met at a Starbucks, and what I thought would be a quick coffee meeting, turned into such a wonderful two hour conversation. I learned so many great things that the Center is doing, was inspired by how it was started by Rabbi Hier and was motivated to keep speaking and spreading the word of Tolerance, Acceptance and Respect.  However, I was completely shocked, and never expected what came next. 

On September 11th at Yankee Stadium, the Simon Wiesenthal Center is having an event where they are honoring 3 people with the first Annual Heroes of Tolerance Award, and yep - you got it, they asked me to be one of the honorees!! As my kids say - OMG!!! I was floored, shocked, and deeply honored. It was beyond my wildest dreams that an organization like this would actually recognize what I am doing and trying to accomplish. 

I have to admit that over the last few weeks I have been reading more and more articles about the anti-Semitism that exist not only in this country, on college campuses and communities nearby, but also all around the world. I saw a video last week about college students in PA that had no idea what the Holocaust was, or even who Hitler was. How could that be?? I was in shock and it really threw me for a loop.  The other day I was quite down on everything. What am I doing? Will I actually be able to make a difference? Am I fighting a loosing battle? It was not a very good day.  I saw my dad the next day and shared my feeling with him. I asked him how he did it? Did he ever feel and live with the gripping fear that it will never end and that they will get us eventually? How did he go on each day with hope and a smile? His answer was quite simple - he was completely not shocked about the ignorance of these students - he actually said he would have been shocked if they knew anything. He told me how this is life, we will never change everyone nor should we expect to. We just have to keep spreading the message, keep doing what we are doing and keep putting one foot in front of the other and move forward.  My husband said it best - he told me to concentrate on affecting one person at a time.

So that is what I am going to do. I worked with a teacher over the summer and we wrote up a lesson plan to accompany the book for grades 8/9. The goal being that we know that the way we can affect change is by starting at the beginning, with our Youth.

I want to thank Michael Cohen, Rabbi Hier and Rabbi May (whom I had the pleasure of meeting a few weeks ago) and the Simon Wiesenthal Center for bestowing this honor on me. I hope I can live up to the award and continue to spread the message of hope and get people to truly understand that by being a good person and by respecting one another we can overcome the hate, bigotry and anti-Semitism that exist.

This sums it up - we will keep doing what we are doing, and I hope he keeps smiling!

Who would have thought?

When I first embarked on the journey to write the book, I never really thought about not only where it would lead me and how it would affect people, but also about the new people I would meet along the way.  One of the most gratifying parts is experiencing and hearing from people how they have been affected by what they have read. I  never would have imagined that this book could influence people the way it has. 

OK I have to admit, one of my morning rituals has become going online and checking Amazon to see if anyone wrote any new reviews, then I check goodreads.com for the same reason. Pathetic, I know! But, again I will admit, my day brightens when I see a new review.  Usually, the reviews are so kind and heartwarming.  I love hearing how people have really connected with the story, and how it has made some really start understanding what perserverance truly is, and what heroism looks like.  The other day, however, I read the following review - and I was shocked, I actually teared up:

By Bill on July 10, 2016

Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase

After reading over 70 memoirs of holocaust survivors I continue to be amazed at the cruelty we can bestow on one another. But within this mix of terrible hatred - every so often miraculous inspiration emerges.

This book makes me want t be a better man - and the unbelievable tenacity of Sala makes me ashamed of my petty concerns and bickering.

Five stars ... You won't want to put it down.

God bless the family and the poor grandfather.

Wow - is all I can say. To know that something you wrote could affect someone that deeply elicited an emotion I can not quite describe.  This was the purpose; to make people feel, to make them connect, to make them think.  I always knew deep down that the story could accomplish that, but to see it actually happen makes me so grateful. Grateful that so many of you have taken the time to read it, and so grateful that you have taken the time to tell others to do the same.

Perhaps it is true that we can change the world, one step at a time. Perhaps in my lifetime I will be blessed to see anti-Semitism diminish, racism diminish and tolerance prevail.  We have a long way to go, but if we continue to believe in the goodness that exists within us all we can accomplish greatness.

During this journey, I had the pleasure to get connected with Marcin Zarod, a teacher from Tarnow, Poland. He not only read the book, but was so taken by it, that he suggested his students should all read it as well.  He recently took a trip to Israel with his family, and by coincidence my father was there the same time visiting his sister.  They all had a chance to meet up and I heard it was a wonderful day. 

Thank you to Bill for letting me know how much the book affected you; Thank you Marcin for recommending the book to others; and thank you all for your tremendous support.  Together we will Never Forget.

Try not to sweat the small stuff!

So I just returned from my annual Las Vegas Trade Shows trip.  Each year I leave on Memorial Day and spend about 8 days in Las Vegas attending a multitude of trade shows during "Jewelry Week".  Yes it is very tiring and long, but the best part of the week is the fact that I get the chance to see so many people that I have known for so many years, all in one place.  Many of them I am fortunate enough to call my friends. 

This year was extra special. So many people came up to me and acknowledged my new book, Together: A Journey for Survival.  I am so grateful for all the outpouring of support and accolades.  It is actually quite overwhelming.  So many of these people have known my dad, some for close to 50 years, and yet so many of them truly had no idea what he had gone through and where he had come from.

The lesson here is, how well do we really know those around us?  Do we judge them or make conclusions about them without knowing all the facts? In my dad's case, he is always so joyful and always has this energetic smile that is so infectious. Everyone has such a great respect for him and admires his positive attitude.  Who would have thought that this same man endured a nightmare that most of us could not even dream of?

How can we learn from him to make ourselves a better person?  I think the next time we start sweating the small stuff we should pause and just think about what we are getting so angry or stressed about.  Take a breath, walk away for a moment, and just reassess the situation and approach it again with a different attitude.  Most things are not life and death, although they may feel like it at the time.  All of us have bad days, even my dad, but remember, tomorrow is a new day, with new beginnings and new hope. Embrace the life we have been given and let's all try to be a little nicer to one another and treat each other with just a little more respect.

Take a moment to say "Thank You"

Memorial Day weekend is upon us. As families all over start preparing for barbeques, parades and parties, I want to take a moment to say "Thank You". 

Those two little words are so over used and I hope their meaning is not lost on those that receive the accolades.  Thank you to the men and women that sacrifice themselves, sacrifice their families and allow us to enjoy all those hamburgers and hotdogs this weekend!  Thank you to the countless soldiers that fought wars in the past for our freedom and for the freedom of others. And Thank You to those soldiers that liberated my family and allowed them to survive, and ultimately allowed me to be born.

If it was not for the unselfishness of these brave souls, people like me, my sister, and my children would not be here today. Who knows how much longer my father would have been able to survive during the Holocaust. How much longer he would have been able to hide from the monsters that wanted to make sure his existence was wiped from the face of the earth. Thankfully, we will never have to find out.

So in simple terms - Thank you for your service